remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
