This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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