Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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