Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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