How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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