I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
