you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
