Buhtt sex?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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