my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
