My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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