Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
