38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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