I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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