We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
