Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
