Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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