My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
bring money and cleavage
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
