whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think I have vodka in my lungs
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
