have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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