just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
