she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
