if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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