She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So here I am, sexting at work.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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