Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
