He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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