drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
