apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
