I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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