I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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