Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
