Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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