I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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