So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
