Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I woke up under a house in Key West
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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