i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
