We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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