your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
