i may or may not be watching the land before time
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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