he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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