just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
