i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Don't EVER smell your tampon
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
