Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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