Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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