You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
