when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
