saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
