If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
