ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize