i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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