Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize