tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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