We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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