He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
