just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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