i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
