If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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