I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
