The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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