If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
