two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
