At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think weed is turning my hair brown
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
