Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
